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The Setback Cycle: How Defining Moments Can Move Us Forward by Amy Shoenthal
You might have noticed that when we invited you to share your failures on International Failure Day in our previous newsletter, we didn’t invite you to celebrate that day. Instead, we invited you to normalize failures.
Here’s the reasoning behind this.
While failures certainly present valuable opportunities for learning and growth, they also suck.
In the business world, failures are often romanticized (with advice to “fail big”), but there’s no need to glorify failure or aim to fail intentionally. What’s essential is recognizing that setbacks happen and learning how to navigate through them.
This brings us to the concept of the setback cycle.
A setback is essentially a disruption in progress — when you’re striving for something, only to be thrown off track and returned to square one. Well, every setback follows a cycle, and knowing this helps us view setbacks not only as chances for growth, but also as normal and inevitable parts of life that have their own rhythms and phases like many other things.
Whether you’re struggling after a breakup or trying to adapt to an unforeseen career change, understanding that there’s a cycle to navigate can help clarify your experiences, illuminate the next steps, and empower you to move forward.
In her book The Setback Cycle, Amy Shoenthal outlines the 4 phases of the setback cycle:
Establish: To work through a setback, you first need to identify what you’re facing. Setbacks exist on a spectrum. Some setbacks are glaringly obvious, whereas others can be harder to pinpoint. For example, when you ask someone on a date and they decline, that’s a setback. When you lose your job, that’s a setback. A clear indicator of a setback is the stress you may feel physically, so listen to your body.
Embrace: Try facing setbacks with pause and preparation. Instead of continuing to push, just pause and give yourself time to process. Sometimes, things need to suck before they become better. This also means accepting your emotions — don’t rationalize your feelings, just feel what you feel. If you are disappointed, let yourself be disappointed. You need to acknowledge that things haven’t gone your way, which is the first step to change. The true value lies not in the setback itself, but in the hopeful feeling that things will get better.
Explore: During this phase, delve into your long-simmering curiosities and evaluate your current situation. What needs to shift? What new ventures do you wish to pursue? What’s something you always wanted to do? Understand your strengths and play to them. This is also the time to turn to your community and support systems, seeking guidance and encouragement. Collaborating with peers can provide new perspectives, and sharing experiences around setbacks can create a supportive learning environment.
Emerge: Now it’s time to address the question “What’s next?” and take action. At this stage, determination is crucial — don’t let setbacks deter you. It’s common for intentions to misalign with actions, but setbacks can serve to motivate you toward taking steps forward. Be prepared with alternatives — think of plan B, and plan C. And as always, start small and move one step at a time.