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The 2-Hour Cocktail Party: How to Build Big Relationships with Small Gatherings by Nick Gray
The art of socializing — keeping old friends and finding new ones while remembering all their birthdays. There are many ways to practice this art and today we want to share an interesting concept. It’s called a cocktail party.
But here is the thing, this cocktail party isn’t about fancy outfits, small talk and cocktails. What Nick Gray calls a “cocktail party” in his book The 2-Hour Cocktail Party is all about the atmosphere of intimacy and building meaningful relationships.
Whatever name you give this type of event – a gathering, a happy hour, a house party or a cocktail party – the principles are always the same. Let’s explore them.
- Keep it simple
To host a cocktail party, you don’t need to put in a lot of effort. There is no food prep involved, so it’s even easier to organize than a dinner party that can be overwhelming for an inexperienced host. With less work, you can still build high-quality relationships.
- Structured, but not awkward
Cocktail parties are structured (there are name tags, icebreakers, and a clear ending time involved), but casual. A typical networking event always feels awkward and you end up hanging out with people you already know. So why not try something different? Be proactive, bring awesome people to you, and all those awesome people to each other, by hosting a party in a setup that is cozy and welcoming. That’s how meaningful relationships are built.
- Time
If you want good attendance, Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday night from 7pm to 9 pm are your ideal times to host. That’s when people usually have the fewest plans. Avoid (long) weekends and holidays.
- Venue
Always host at home. People want to see you in your natural habitat. It’s more intimate and authentic than going to a bar. If your apartment is not an option, ask a friend if you can host at their place. Parks and community spaces also work well.
- Invitations
– Invite your core group first: close friends, colleagues and neighbors whom you already know well. Once you get 5 confirmations and feel confident that at least someone will show up at your party, start inviting newbies to join you and your friends.
– Invite them all 3 weeks in advance by sending a direct message that is short, personal and asks if they would be interested in receiving more details about the party.
If they reply yes, you can send them an RSVP page with the event description.
– Aim for 15 guests. It’s a good number because everyone has the opportunity to meet others and it’s still easy to handle.
– And don’t forget to send them reminders a few days before the party.
- Party day
– Use name tags. They boost confidence among attendees because no one will need to worry about remembering names.
– Serve drinks and snacks only.
– Don’t try to impress. Everybody is there to hang out with you and meet new people, not to judge your crowded counter top.
– Use icebreakers. They might look childish, but they are a simple way to make people feel closer. Here is one simple example: ask everyone what their favorite snack is.
– Have a clear ending time and respect it.