Where to find this idea:
Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides by Geoffrey L. Cohen
Belonging is the feeling that we are part of a larger group that values, respects and cares for us (and to which we also have something to contribute). Interestingly, to foster a sense of belonging for ourselves and others, we don’t need grand gestures. More often, it’s the small, everyday moments that ignite this feeling and make us feel accepted, respected and included.
People don’t think talking to a stranger at a coffee shop will make them happier. Nevertheless, when they do engage in even 5 minutes of small talk, they feel happier. Those little connections energize us.
This also means that every single one of us has the power to make ourselves and others feel we belong. Being able to foster connection in the tiniest social situations is basically our superpower. While there are people who naturally make others feel welcome and included, we can all try our best to do the same (or at the very least to not make others feel excluded, unwelcome or even threatened).
So, reach out. Talk to a barista at your favorite coffee shop and show that you respect their work, and that you love their presence. Hold the door for someone and give them a smile. Ask your neighbor how they are doing. In an environment like school, work or social gatherings, be welcoming, especially to newcomers. If you wait too long to plant the seed of belonging, it’s often too late. You can always share a little story of adversity. It tells people “you’re not alone.” It shows our shared humanity and promotes belonging.
While these acts may look small, they are not. In fact, they are often big for those who feel unseen or like outsiders. You send the message “I see you and you matter,” even without ever saying it.
Making yourself and others feel like we all matter, matters.