Where to find this idea:
First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Journey Through Anxiety by Sarah Wilson
In a perfect world, every birthday would be sparkling, every trip exciting and every date night romantic.
Hopes are high, expectations even higher.
But when those lofty expectations are not met, we might feel like our entire experience is ruined. Instead of joy and content, we are left with feelings of disappointment, questioning if we’ll ever be able to have a great time.
The truth is, not every occasion can live up to our expectations.
Take traveling as an example. You envision perfect weather, seeing all the things on your list and a room with a beautiful view. But then it rains, you feel exhausted halfway into your trip and your room overlooks a brick wall. You declare your long-planned trip a disaster.
These idealized expectations and the feeling of disappointment when reality looks different can be explained by one concept — Perfect Moment Syndrome. When we anticipate a certain event and expect it to be amazing, our brain starts releasing dopamine and constructing a scenario of how that event will unfold. If reality falls short, the dopamine released during the event is less than what our brain prepared us for, resulting in feelings of disappointment.
At its core, Perfect Moment Syndrome is rooted in black and white thinking and the human desire for perfection. If we add the influence social media has on how we see reality, chances are we’ll end up disappointed on many occasions.
That’s why awareness and self-compassion can be of great help in this situation.
First of all, when Perfect Moment Syndrome hits, it’s good to acknowledge that this is a normal physiological response, instead of criticizing yourself for feeling it.
Second, knowing your priorities really helps. For example, if friends and music are essential for your memorable birthday party, then who cares about decor or food?
Third, accept that life is inherently messy and find beauty in all the little imperfections.
And finally, try managing your expectations, especially if you start comparing yourself to the picture perfect life of social media.