Hello friends,

I love my Sunday morning walks around the neighborhood. Not only because the city, otherwise loud and chaotic, is so serene and quiet, which brings me peace, but also because I know this lull won’t last long.

In fact, I think this is one of the biggest differences between early walks in nature and those in the city.

When in nature, I expect it to stay calm.
But in the city, I expect it to get louder and louder with each passing moment — there are more and more people in line for coffee, more and more kids in the park, more and more cars in the streets.

It’s a matter of minutes before the city is fully awake and I just want to soak in the moment of its awakening.

Go outside and enjoy your walk. It’s Sunday.

Irena Spegar

Disclaimer: we got distracted 14 times while writing this text about (dis)traction.

What’s the opposite of distraction? Focus? Productivity? Traction? Whatever you name it, the idea behind it is the same – it’s an action that moves you closer to your goals and toward the life you want. We like the word “traction” that Nir Eyal uses in his book “Indistractable,” so we’ll be using that one here.

You will recognize traction as an activity you planned on doing. You will find it on your calendar or to-do list.

Traction doesn’t need to be anything productive. You can choose to relax or have fun and as long as it’s intentional it’ll still be the opposite of distraction.

For example, if you planned a 2-hour call with your friend, great, do it. That’s traction. But if you planned to clean up your home and you end up talking to your friend for 2 hours, well, that’s a distraction.

What’s interesting is that we often think of distractions as something external: TikTok is a distraction, Netflix is a distraction, a friend texting you is a distraction.
We think the same way of traction. We think that we need some sort of external motivation like reward, punishment, an accountability buddy or a deadline to stay focused.

External factors (external distractions or external motivators) matter, but the root cause of both distraction and traction is within you. 

With distraction, the root causes are emotions, pains and dysfunctional beliefs that prevent you from going where you want to be. Things like feeling overwhelmed, bored, frustrated or incompetent when you need to get something done. These sensations trigger distractions and the urge to switch to a different task, one that wasn’t planned. That unplanned task is there to help you avoid pain and discomfort. 

It’s the same with traction. Feeling optimistic, motivated and excited about something will help you stick to your plan.

You will know something is a distraction because it’s a by-product of negative emotions and it will further increase negative emotions. It’ll make you feel bad about yourself because you’re not doing what you said you would be doing. You’ll feel powerless and out of control.

On the contrary, traction will make you feel happier and more fulfilled. Doing what you said you would be doing makes you feel like you control your life.  

Distractions are inevitable and we all get pulled away by them. Acknowledge this and try to understand what emotion causes distraction. That’s the first step towards traction.

We’ve talked about the importance of rest in our previous issues. This week we’ve been pondering a related topic: why do we feel guilty when we rest? Staring into one spot and zoning out for 15 minutes is not a sin, going for a walk without a plan is not a sin, reading a book without implementing it (simply reading for the sake of reading) is not a sin. Yet we feel guilty.
Why does having free time feel like we are not productive and why do we want to keep ourselves busy so badly?

Here’s a tip that’ll help you with public speaking, from a presentation to a conference to a meeting to a TEDx talk (okay maybe we’re not there yet). We’ve confirmed, focusing on nodders while you speak works. Thank you, nodders!

The future is closer than ever and each new AI we get to know gives us a glimpse of how this future might be. Character.AI lets you create any character you want that you and other users can communicate with. Need a learning partner to ask you questions? No problem. Need a therapist? They got you covered. Collaboration between humans and robots is just getting started and it feels surreal.

“What if” is a tough game to play. It’s also a never-ending game because there’ll always be a new “what if” in every situation you find yourself in. But what if (we said it), instead of trying to win, you stop playing it all together. Here is a Savvy Psychologist podcast episode about it. One easy solution to stop asking “what if” is to keep in mind the difference between probability (likely to happen) and possibility (could happen). Forget possibility, focus on probability.

The author of Great Founders Write: Principles for Clear Thinking, Confident Writing, and Startup Success. He also runs Damn Gravity Media, a book publisher for entrepreneurs and creatives.

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Sundays are my one true off day. I enjoy them quite a bit.

My week is filled with work. Saturdays are dedicated to exercise, ultimate frisbee practice, and hanging out with my wife and friends.

Sundays are the only day where I don’t set an alarm or make plans. I start the day slow and see where it goes. Typically that means drinking coffee and reading in bed, then going for a walk with my wife and dog. Sometimes we’ll go explore a new neighborhood in Chicago or go grab lunch at a place we’ve been dying to try. Sometimes I just take a nap.

Sunday evenings include a trip to the grocery store and a nice dinner at home. Then we’ll watch the next episode of whatever show we’re obsessed with (currently ‘Alone’) and then call it an early night.

But right before I go to bed, I switch back into work mode. I make a simple list of everything I need to do in the upcoming week, then choose one thing I want to get done Monday morning. Then I schedule the rest of my week with my productivity coach on Monday afternoon.

Sundays are truly a day of rest for me. It’s my day to decompress and re-center myself.

1. How to make networking events less awkward: Be a croissant, not a bagel – NPR
Networking events are back and they are as awkward as ever. If you chose to participate in one, what would you be: a croissant or a bagel? Based on the article, when at an event, croissants are open to welcoming new people into their group. Bagels are closed (just as their shape suggests) – they know each other well, they don’t let newcomers into their circle and they make you wonder why the heck they gathered at a networking event when they could’ve just gone for a beer somewhere.
Don’t be a bagel. Instead, be a croissant, let people into your space.

2. A New Dimension to a Meaningful Life – Scientific American
Do you know that feeling of bliss as you gaze upon the beauty of the sunset or as you spend a quiet evening at home with the person you love? That feeling of appreciation for “the ordinary” is one of the secrets to a meaningful life. It’s a very common belief that having a greater purpose leads to a meaningful life. What we tend to forget is that finding and admiring beauty in the mundane is equally important. It makes you realize your life is not a boring average life, but it’s special in all its shapes and forms.

3. The workers leaving their dream jobs – BBC Worklife
His dream job was to become a pastry chef at a famous restaurant. His dream came true, but working for a high-end restaurant for £5.95 an hour and 70 hours a week wasn’t an option in the end. What do you do when your dream job doesn’t pay bills and leaves you overworked? This is a question we can all ask ourselves, especially in the post-pandemic era that has popularized the “leave your boring daily job and follow your passion” mindset.