There come times in our lives when we feel lost. When we have no idea what we want or who we are. Sounds scary, right? But these moments can become something other than scary, they can become an opportunity for growth.
First of all, it’s important to understand that it’s very unlikely that your entire life sucks. It’s more likely that one aspect of your life or a specific situation makes you feel lost. It might be a job that you don’t like, a relationship that makes you feel empty or a bad habit that you want to break but don’t know how to. Once you understand and acknowledge this, you are halfway to finding your way. Maybe you’ll decide to walk the same path, maybe you’ll discover a new one or maybe you’ll take a shortcut.
Wherever you decide to go, you’ll need directions first. Just as you need a compass (or Google Maps) to point you in the right direction when you get lost in space, you need a tool that points you in the right direction when you get lost in your life. That tool, that life compass, is your values. They’ll help you understand who you are, what life you want for yourself, and what you need to do to achieve that life.
That’s why keeping a list of values that reflect what matters to you is always a good idea. But you also want to live your values out in real life, not just leave them on paper.
Here’s a simple example. A group of friends invites you for drinks on a Friday night. You would rather spend the night in, but you decide to go out because you don’t want to disappoint your friends. Now imagine doing this for years. At some point you’ll start feeling bad about yourself, and you’ll start questioning who you are and what you want from your life. You see, something as simple as going out on a Friday night can make you feel lost.
That’s where values come into play. If you truly want to spend Friday night alone, that might mean that your important value is “solitude.” Let this knowledge guide your decision next time someone invites you out.
When we follow our values, making decisions gets easier, coming back to ourselves gets easier and changing ourselves gets easier.